I have been feeling ‘above’ the weather for the past few days, dumped on, unappreciated and overwhelmed. My morning prayers have been more like bitch sessions than prayers since Saturday (8/25) then somewhere between closing my eye last night and opening them this morning, peace found me, and I welcomed her.
I have done it again. I have taken something that God surely told me was temporary and tried to make it long term and now I have this intense emotion of disjointedness. I am trying to fit where I was never meant to fit. I am currently not doing my God given purpose on the earth and until I start doing that everything will be temporary and yes disjointed.
This is disconcerting because I like my work, liked my previous work (recruiting) and for a time I loved human resources and was quite content climbing the ladder. For a time, I loved CSTH. Now it all seems (the last ten years) like puzzle pieces that only God can help me figure out (this is not a bad thing, just an overwhelming one). I miss being passionate about my work. I love the mission and purpose of CSTH just as I love the mission and purpose of the profession of human resources yet neither one completes my “life @ work”.
God, I am there yet? No my child you are not, keep moving, persevering, trusting, believing and WE will get there.